Yui the Best Scout ever
by Vintage Sniper
Summary: From a thrashing L4D2 experience at Dark Carnival to an amazing supercharged BLU Scout at pl hoodoo, Yui Hirasawa has had one person on her mind, her lover Kurasame. But at Dark Carnival when he got turned into an Australium Statue, and the BLU Team's reputation was in tatters, Yui has to pick up all the pieces with the help of the ex Groton School sports champion, BLU Scout's team
1. The L4D2 BLU Team disaster

After a thrashing experience at Dark Carnival in L4D2 with a load of scrubs, known as Kurasame, Will-epic and shijidachimp. Me and a friend of mine had heard all about this...we thought it was taking the piss out of the K-ON! Girls, so we rushed over to the Midnight Riders concert ready to pounce, as I was in stance to save Mugi, who was being brushed off as useless, and who was mai waifu.

Yui however...was far from complaining...she was actually developing a romantic relationship with Kurasame...her eyes gleamed at him from the start of the campaign...she did everything to try and show her crush she was developing, healing him, freeing him from special infected, and helping as much as she could.

He held her hand in the Saferoom "Kurasame-kun? Before we leave the saferoom, can we kiss?" she asked with her eyes twinkling...

Kurasame reply came "When we get on the chopper...of course, but we cannot fuck up now...I know how you feel...Yui-chan. Lets carry on for now" Yui slightly disappointedly set off...

* * *

Meanwhile however at pl_hoodoo. The BLU team were on the verge of being defeated, as the RED team were being strong in their defence as the timer ran out.

"5..4..3..2..1" The Administrator boomed over the speakers. Then...

"Victory" She said to the RED Team.

"You Failed!" She said to the BLU Team.

"Bloody Hell" Groaned the BLU Demoman "We are never gonna win now."

"The REDs have outwitted us" Replied the BLU Soldier. They were both interrupted by the RED Soldier's crocket that killed them both.

"Well boys, that was an epic match!" Said the RED Soldier to his team!

The RED Engineer sat down to play his guitar. "Good job y'all" He said "One more match and we're gonna win"

"One more match?!" Exclaimed the RED Scout "Whoa! I did not know that! Well, we gotta win that one! The BLUs ain't never gonna win on Hoodoo!"

"Très bien!" Said the RED Spy "We should hope to secure Hoodoo" He turned to his teammates

"Gentlemen" He announced "One more fight, and we win"

The RED team went back to their spawnroom.

* * *

Back at the Dark Carnival, me and my friend set around attack the scrubs to save the K-ON! Girls. I got into a fight with Will-epic who was abusing Tsumugi without remorse, Kurasame and shinjidachimp were having none of his abuse...though they did not do much about it.

Kurasame finally decided enough was enough and when he was attempting to melee kill me, Kurasame shot him with his shotgun. "There, I killed him for ya!" He said.

But Will-epic got up back on his feet and in a furore yelled "YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" and smashed Kurasame with his Australium Frying Pan. Kurasame choked "Yui, avenge my death!" was his final words before he turned into a statue of Australium. Yui was deeply shocked.

Then Will-epic was on a full out rage against me as I was incapacitated. I struggled over to Grenade Launcher "I WILL NOT ACCEPT THE ABUSE TO MUGI YOU'VE BEEN DOING" I yelled helplessly while struggling for the Grenade Launcher.

"YOUR WAIFU IS SHIT...SHIT SHIT SHIT!" Snarled Will-epic "GET READY TO DIE YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" and he swung his melee weapon but I fired the grenade launcher first and send him packing, to hell.

As he died, he cursed both me and Mugi...as she got me back up, healed me and gave me a warm hug.

I was glad to of be of help...I hugged her back...but that's another story.

My friend hallucinated shinjichimp as Swiss Cheese after he got shot by a very annoyed Mio, he came over to him and vored him down...in one go! An epic zombie fight later...we got onto the the chopper, with a very dishearted Yui with the Australium Statue of her new boyfriend...who she never even got to kiss or hug. Yui started crying as the chopper flew off.

* * *

Meanwhile however, the Administrator had a few words with the BLU team regarding their defeat at Hoodoo earlier.

"You have disappointed me greatly, all of you" she said "You are never going to win the Hoodoo at this rate."

"We fought as hard as we could" Replied the BLU Soldier.

"But the RED Team outwitted us" chimed in the BLU Sniper.

"I will not tolerate failure under any circumstances!" said the Administrator sternly "You have already damaged the reputation of you team. You have only one more fight to prove yourselves capable of winning Hoodoo"

"Eh?!" stuttered the whole BLU Team "One more fight?"

"Mon Dieu" Groaned the BLU Spy "I don't think so."

"This is your last chance" said the Administrator firmly "There is one more fight tomorrow at high noon. If you lose, then you would have let the whole of Builders League United down, let Saxton Hale Down, let me down, and above all, You would of let yourselves down and the Hoodoo will be permanently RED's Property. Is that clear?"

"Yes ma'am" said the entire BLU team

"Was zur Hölle?!" shrilled the BLU Medic "I cannot come up wizh a good enough plan for zhis...ve cannot let ourselves get defeated by zhe REDs...I vish I could Übercharge faster..."

"Hmmm..." murmured the BLU Heavy "This...is going to be tricky...we need a strategy"

"mmph mmmph mmpph *You do have a point Heavy*" chimed in the BLU Pyro.

"Not to get our asses kicked, That is virtually freakin' impossible" grumbled the BLU Scout.

"Enough please Gentlemen" Said the Administrator calmly "Fight as hard as you can, do your best."

The BLU team stared at the administrator with a small mumble from the BLU Pyro

"Now" said the Administrator "Tomorrow at High Noon. Your final match at pl_hoodoo. This, is, your, last, chance. You must win at all costs. Failure will result in dire consequences." She turned around to respond to a call from her assistant, Miss Pauling

"Helen" said Miss Pauling over the video phone. "I have something pretty urgent"

"Oh, Miss Pauling" replied the Administrator "How urgent is it? I am busy with the BLU team who I am deeply disappointed in!"

Miss Pauling looked surprised

"What?" she said all puzzled "Don't tell me they have failed again"

"Yes" said the administrator "What is it you need to tell me"

"The RED team have reported something suspicious at the final checkpoint at Hoodoo, they claim they are hearing voices of a strange person" Said Miss Pauling "Would you come over ASAP, I am outside the RED Spawn room at the final terminus"

"Will do" Replied the Administrator "See you in 5 minutes"

"What were that?" murmured the BLU Scout suspiciously

"Mind your own business Boston kid!" sharply replied the BLU Soldier

"Something is not right" said the BLU Heavy

"Is it gonna blow us down?" questioned the BLU Engineer.

"Mind your own business Heavy and Engie!" Snapped the BLU Soldier

The Administrator turned to the BLU Team

"I have to go now, Miss Pauling needs me" She said "But remember what I said. Do not fail tomorrow"

Her eyes squinted at the BLU Team as she sternly said "Gentlemen! This is your last chance!" she then turned away and left.

The bemused BLUs were left behind all anxious about the battle next day, knowing that if they failed, severe consequences would be implemented.


	2. Yui's heartache

The administrator arrived at the final checkpoint where Miss Pauling had asked her to come to for urgent matters.

"Helen" said Miss Pauling when the Administrator arrived "Reports of strange activity is going on!"

"Are you hallucinating?" asked the Administrator "Is this a prank"

"No I am not" protested Miss Pauling "Hear that?"

"Hello?" said a voice, that apparently belonged to Kurasame "Where the hell am I? I...don't know what is going on"

"Good heavens!" exclaimed the Administrator "That is too good to be true Miss Pauling!"

"From what I've heard from this voice" explained Miss Pauling "He was playing on Dark Carnival with his friends, and he got turned into an Australium Statue by one of then when tried to stand up for all the abuse he was giving to one of the other survivors. Apparently, he was just developing love between a girl called Yui Hirasawa, and he does not know where his Australium Statue of his body"

"Oh gosh!" groaned the Administrator "That is quite a tale, and what are we gonna do" before she could finish her line she got scared stiff by Kurasame's soul "OH GOOD HEAVENS!"

"I understand" replied Miss Pauling dully "This is the soul of a person! A person! Not a zombie!"

"Look Miss Pauling" replied the Administrator "Lets get away and I have something else to say" So they moved away from where Kurasame's soul was.

"Miss Pauling" said the Administrator "I feel extremely disappointed in the BLU team, all they have done is let me down!"

"Well" replied Miss Pauling coldly "Seems like the REDs have outwitted their strategies"

"Totally unsatisfactory!" said the administrator bluntly "They always seem to lose 70% of battles they are in! This is their last chance!"

"What?" Puzzled Miss Pauling "Who's last chance?"

"The BLU Team have one last chance to capture the Hoodoo" replied the Administrator "At high noon, tomorrow, if they fail, then they have let Builder's league united down, they have let me and you down, they have let Saxton Hale down, and, they have no more chances of getting the Hoodoo for themselves"

Miss Pauling stared "You certain?" she asked slowly

"I go by my word" replied the Administrator "They have been a disappointment! I am totally disillusioned with them all!"

"But reflect on their successes!" stressed Miss Pauling "Like that time..."

"Miss Pauling" said the administrator "I am losing my patience with this situation, please, go and see if the mail order of parts for the computers has arrived"

"Yes" replied Miss Pauling and walked away.

The administrator sat down at her desk

"I am most displeased" she grumbled to herself "I am beginning to lose faith in the BLU Team, they are after all fighting in the name of Blutarch Mann."

A couple of minutes later, Miss Pauling returned with some bad news

"Unfortunately, the delivery person has been taken ill in Missouri, he blames it on food poisoning after a meal at Taco Bell" announced Miss Pauling "so another driver has had to take over from Missouri to Teufort, and he is running 15hrs behind schedule, so it is unlikely that they will arrive until the day after tomorrow!"

"Oh no" groaned the Administrator "We cannot fix that faulty terminal if the parts have not arrived, and it is going to affect our operations!

"There isn't much I can do about it" stressed Miss Pauling

"That means that terminal will be out of action until the parts arrive" the Administrator groaned as Miss Pauling walked away

* * *

Meanwhile at Yui's house however, the Australium Statue of Kurasame stood there with a tearful Yui in front of him.

"I never even got to kiss you!" Yui sobbed at the feet of The Australium Statue of her lover "I want you back! How am I ever gonna get you back now?"

"I don't know how" Ritsu responded with tears welling in her eyes "I feel so bad about you Yui. Kurasame-Kun! Please come back for Yui! Please!" and Ritsu began sobbing as well.

"I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!" wailed Yui mournfully "DAMN YOU TO HELL Will-epic!"

Yui hugged the Australium statue and kissed the lips in a futile attempt to revive her Australium Lover. Yui fell flat on the floor tearfully, and made several references to the song "Never Had a Dream Come True" by S Club 7 between her sobs. "You'll always be my baby" she sobbed.

Ui sighed "Never known Onee-Chan be this devistated since the loss of our cousin to cancer" Ui had no idea how to help her devistated sister either "She really does seem to love him even though she is a statue, I don't know ANYTHING to help"

Neither did Mio or Tsumugi, the stared puzzled at their grieving friend.

Tsumugi then spoke "I wish that guy who saved me from that abusive idiot stayed with me, ah he was such a softie"

Mio stared at Mugi "Really?" she pondered "For all I know...I am starting to feel like I love Ritsu more than ever"

Ritsu stopped sniffing "Really?" she said puzzled "Do you Mio?"

"What Tsumugi is pointing out this that we're all probably Bisexual" said Mio "Yet I still love you Ricchan *sotto* and your brother"

Yui stopped crying "Yes, Mio-chan, we all are bisexual"

"Yeah" replied Ritsu "But I currently have no male lover"

"I think Mugi-chan was pointing out some very good advice" said Yui quietly.

"I think I am right" said Tsumugi cheerfully "We are all Bi!"

"Anyway" interrupted Ui "What are we going to to help my sister out?"

The girls stared at Ui, they had no idea whatsoever of how to solve Yui's problem and reunite her with her lover. This was a dilemma in itself.

"I stress that I cannot think of any solution because none of us know about the powers of Australium!" blurted out Ritsu "We could break the statue with a sledgehammer"

Mio hit Ritsu on the head.

"BUT KURASAME WOULD BE DESTROYED IN THE PROCESS!" She snarled at Ritsu.

"Sheesh!" groaned Ritsu "That were uncalled for!"

"I'd say give him a big cuddle" chirped Tsumugi "Then if you kiss his lips for long enough, the Australium will start to break away and Kurasame will come out of his Australium Shell!"

"NO THAT WON'T WORK EITHER!" snapped Mio

"Urgh" Mio grumbled "The way them scrubs treated us at Dark Carnival was fucking diabolical! Except for Yui, I feel sorry for Kurasame...and Tsumugi of the way she was abused, I did not like what shinjidachimp was doing to me, worse case scenario, he'd of fucked me in front of Will-epic and Ritsu"

"That's why I want that blonde boy to come back for me" replied Tsumugi "He was a hero saving me"

"Well, I did not like the scrubs' treatment to me" replied Ritsu sharply "we are out of ideas to revive Kursame, and I think we'd better look for a phone number to get some help"

* * *

Meanwhile however in the Administrator's office, The Administrator was on the phone to her husband, Saxton Hale.

Yes, the Admin and Saxton Hale are married, that makes the Admin "Helen Hale"

"Darling, You understand my extreme disappointment in the BLU team" said the Administrator over the phone.

"I understand sweetheart" replied Saxton Hale to his wife after taking another sip of his coffee in his office. "I know that the BLUs need to get their act together, but did you say one more chance for Hoodoo?"

"Yes" replied the admin "At High noon, tommorow. They will succeed or face their ignominy and dire consequences!"

"Well" replied Saxton Hale "They are fighting in the name of Blutarch Mann"

"I know darling" replied the Administrator "But I told them this afternoon that this would be their last chance"

* * *

Meanwhile, the RED team were congratulating each other on another victory.

"Yeah! That smashed the BLUs in the face!" chirped the RED Scout

"You bet so!" said the RED Engineer sitting down with his guitar "We have tomorrow to fight as well, then Hoodoo is ours, but we still need to fight hard son" Then Engineer began to play his guitar while the RED Soldier lit a cigarette.

He turned to his team "That were a good day's fight!" he said proudly "You make me proud, you make Reliable Excavation Demolition proud, you make Redmond Mann proud! This is gonna be the fight of reckoning tomorrow! A critical moment in the fight for the Hoodoo." he then let out a puff of smoke.

The RED Sniper emerged from the corner after filling his Jarate. "Good work mates" he smiled. "The BLU's don't stand a chance of winning now!"

"Bien Joué" chimed in the RED Spy "That was a good battle, now we need to do it again!"

The RED Demoman took a sip of his scrumpy again "Hehehehehehe" he giggled "Just bought 2 tickets to the gun show, but I'm not givin' 'em to the BLUs, I'm goin' with THEIR tickets! Hehehehehehe!" The RED Demoman fell asleep for a moment and then woke back up.

"We ain't gonna win tomorrow if you keep drinking Demoman!" snarled the RED Soldier to the drunken Demoman "We need to win this battle!" and he took the Demoman's bottle of scrumpy away from him.

"Aye!" Groaned the RED Demoman "That were not supposed to happen! Can I have me drink back?"

"We can't have you drunk tomorrow!" responded the RED Soldier "We must win this battle tomorrow at all costs and we cannot afford drunks on the battlefield!"

"Drunk on the battlefield ain't no way to be son" said the RED Engineer calmly and took a sip of his beer.

"Well you drink as well, and I can drink whenever I want!" retorted the RED Demoman

"Stow it!" snarled the RED Soldier "Or I'll Scotch Tape your ass to the floor!"

The RED Heavy took a bite from his sandwich "Da, baby BLU team is in trouble now" he growled quietly and took another bite from his sandwich and then looked out the window at the sunset. "At high noon tomorrow, we will crush baby BLU team and win the Hoodoo for ourselves, hehehehehehe, horosho!"

The RED Pyro mumbled his response while the RED Medic stepped forwards.

"Sehr Gut" he said to the team "Ve have done vell today, and ve cannot lose zhis next battle! It just motivates me so much thinking about Hoodoo as our property. Ve vill do it!"

"I cannot think what I will do without you Doctor" said the RED Heavy to the RED Medic and put his big hand on his shoulder.

"Hehehehe...Danke Schön Heavy!" he replied and blushed "But ve cannot let zhem Schweinhund BLUs win!"

The RED Scout looked in the fridge "How's my supply of Bonk?" he pondered and looked in "Ah perfect"

The RED Pyro mumbled about the Scout and his Bonk, but the Scout simply retorted "I like Bonk as much as you like fire you mumbling dumb ass in a suit!"

The RED Spy got up "It is getting late, I am going back to my place" he said "Bonne Nuit!" and he went through the doors to put his suit away and clock off his shift.

As he was doing so, he noticed something on the table. "Quoi?" he said to himself.

He looked at the piece of paper that was printed off by Miss Pauling earlier that was telling about the reports of the presence of Kurasame's soul, and the story about Yui Hirasawa.

The Spy looked at the sheet suspiciously, he read about the reports, Yui, et al.

"Mon Dieu" he said as he put the sheet of paper down and clocked off.

As Spy got in his car, he muttered to himself "This is not going to be good, If the BLU Team use this as an advantage, I will kill the quick"

Then he drove off into the fading light.

The other members of the RED team clocked off later in the evening except for Scout who was on a late shift.

"God dammit" he grumbled "I hate late shifts"

* * *

Meanwhile back at Yui's house, the girls had come to an utmost decision.

"We'll phone this guy who rescued Tsumugi" said Ritsu "He might have some better knowlage of how to solve our dilemma than us"

The other K-ON! Girls agreed

"Can you please tell him that I love him?" asked Tsumugi

"Urgh...Mugi Chan" said Ritsu "No...you can tell him that when you meet him again, when you're next in Skipton or something, as he lives there"

Tsumugi looked a bit stunned, as Yui began to dial the number.

"Please please please" pleaded Yui.


	3. RED Scout's late shift, help for Yui

While on late shift, which the RED Scout utmost hated, he stumbled across the sheet of paper that the RED Spy had spotted on the table earlier. The rest of the RED Teams were more concerned about going to bed, and just passed the sheet by. The Scout picked it up, taking a sip of his BONK Atomic Punch energy drink to keep himself awake during his long shift until 2am. It was 10pm and he had 4 hours left of shift.

"Holy crap" exclaimed the Scout quietly as he put down his can of BONK and began to read the sheet in more detail.

"-from the accounts of Kurasame, he was in campaign...a girl called Yui Hirasawa, lead guitarist of...he is in love with her...he got turned into a statue of Australium..."

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Exclaimed the Scout "How can that be fucking possible!"

Clearly stunned, the Scout looked around for a few seconds, then he began to worry.

"Aw crap" he groaned "The BLU team are gonna use this as an advantage, and if they win, they are gonna revive Kurasame to smash our asses in two!"

The bemused Scout put the sheet down and carried on his patrol. He glanced at the clock.

"10:05?" he grunted "God dammit! 3 hours and 55 minutes left" and he grabbed his can of BONK and headed around patrolling the facility at pl_hoodoo. He felt nervous and alone. He even began muttering to himself.

25 minutes later, The Scout stared at the clock again "Crap!" he mumbled "10:30! 3 god damn hours and 30 fuckin' minutes left! Oh well..." and he wandered outside to where the final terminus of the cart was.

While he was inspecting the area, a voice called.

"Hello? Hello? Is that Yui?"

It was Kurasame.

The RED Scout jumped!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! WHAT THE FUCK?!" he screamed as he jumped out of his skin.

The voice moaned in realization that it was not Yui, but the RED Scout.

"What would you be doing outside here, and do you know where Yui is?" asked Kurasame's soul.

The Scout trembled "I am frickin' out here alone on late shift, and you just scared the fuck out of me! And I don't know where Yui is, or who the fuck she is!" replied the frightened Scout.

"Nooooooooo" Moaned Kurasame's soul "I want her back, and you're of no use to me"

The RED Scout screamed and ran back inside, but he stopped when he realized he's dropped his can of BONK and spilt it everywhere.

"AH SHIT!" screamed the Scout as he hastily went back to pick up his BONK and gulped down the reminder of the drink that was not spilt.

"Please help me" said Kurasame's soul "I want to be back in my body and reunited with Yui!"

"HOW CAN I HELP A FRICKIN' GHOST WHO I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK IS OR WHO'S GIRLFRIEND IS! I CANNOT FUCKING HELP YOU!" Screamed the Scout and ran back inside tossing the can of BONK onto the Payload tracks.

The Scout returned to the fridge and looked in the fridge, the was only 1 can of BONK left!

"FUCK!" shrieked the Scout "ONLY ONE GOD DAMN CAN OF BONK LEFT?!"

"I am gonna be frickin sleepy after this...and it's...10:40...3hrs and 20 minutes left" he groaned and carried on patrolling pl_hoodoo.

"I can't wait until this is over" moaned the Scout in the darkness.

* * *

Meanwhile, my phone was ringing, and it was the phone call from Yui, in hope of a solution to her heartache.

I picked the phone up "Hello?"

"Oh hi Mr Vintage Sniper" said Yui over the phone "I's me Yui, I need your help real urgently, it's causing me heartache!"

"What is it, about Kurasame?" I replied

"Yes, it is, I want him back, he's my baby" replied Yui.

"I know" I replied "I just do not know enough about Australium to be able to sort out your problem. I would not be able to do it myself, I just do not know, I just don't.

Over the phone, Yui began to weep her heart out.

"Don't cry Yui" I said "I will find someone to help"

"Do all that you can to find help for him" sobbed Yui "I believe in you, and I know you can find help"

I very suddenly shuddered at the though of something very horrible indeed,  
"AAAAWWWWWWWWUUUUUUUURGHHHHHHH!" I shuddered over the phone that surprised Yui.

"Mr Vintage Sniper?" she asked "are you ok?"

"It just crossed my mind that his soul might be in hell along with the 2 other scrubs" I shuddered "I am going to ask the Bombinomicon, and I hope he'll give some advice!"

"Oh ok" said Yui "Good luck"

I then dialled on my phone the numberes 666-666-666 and then I waited for the reply.

The Bombinomicon answered me "Hey buddy, what's up? How can I help?" he chirped.

* * *

Meanwhile however in Hoodoo, the Scout stumbled around nervously.

"Gah!" he was so frightened that he became startled at the smallest of crashing noises.

"Shit" he groaned as the cold wind began to blow on to him as he shivered "Wish I brought my jacket with me" he muttered and hurried back to the RED Spawn to fetch his jacket, but he had to pass Kurasame's soul, AGAIN!

"Hello?" asked Kurasame's soul as the Scout hastily rushed passed.

"I did not hear that!" yelled the Scout as he went into the spawn.

He checked the clock when he went into the spawn.

"11:00PM?!" he groaned "Damn, another 3 hours on this shift and now I am beginning to feel tired"

He rushed out and passed Kurasame's soul still helplessly moaning in the wind.

He then arrived at where he was, and in the distance a clock faintly struck 11.  
"Jeez, that is better with my jacket on" remarked the Scout as he nervously continued his gruelling patrol among pl_hoodoo, already starting to feel fatigue.

* * *

Back in my place, I was on the phone to the Bombinomicon to help sort Yui out.

"Erm, no, he is not in here" replied the Bombinomicon "but his 2 fellows are, and they can stay there!"

"Bombinomicon" I replied "this situation is dire, can you find out where he is?"

"Erm...give me a minute" replied Bombinomicon as he went off to locate Kurasame's soul.

He presently returned.

"Ok listen" he said "Kurasame's soul is located at the final terminus of the pl_hoodoo map. If Yui wants to get her cuddle boy back, she would need to join the battle at high noon tomorrow, go on the BLU team, put his Australium Statue on the cart, push the cart, and Ubercharge the cart at the final terminus, and that way. Kurasame will come back to life!"

"Ok! Thanks ever so much, I'll give Yui your instructions!" I said as I hung up.

I then rang Yui back. I gave out the instructions that the Bombinomicon had given me

"Ok Yui, Bombinomicon says that Kurasame's soul is not in hell, his soul is at the final terminus of pl_hoodoo"

"Phew" sighed Yui "that's a relief, so what do I do?"

"Listen carefully Yui" I explained to her "If you want to get Kurasame back, you will need to join the game at pl_hoodoo at high noon tomorrow, take the Australium statue with you, join the BLU team, push the cart all the way to the final terminus, and when you are there, The BLU Medic will Ubercharge the cart and then you'll get him back. Understand?"

"Yes" yawned Yui tiredly "I'll do so, but it's getting late now"

"It is" I replied "Good luck for tomorrow" and then I hung up and got my arse to bed.

* * *

Later back at pl_hoodoo, the Scout was starting to feel tired, he looked around on his patrol, he had no more BONK to help keep him awake.

In the distance, he heard a church clock striking midnight.

"Holy crap it's midnight!" exclaimed the Scout "I have 2 hours left of shift, and it's 12 more hours until the next battle"

He wandered around for a few minutes where he reached the Cart at the BLU Spawn. He glanced at the spawn room and yawned. He remembered what he saw on that piece of paper 2 hour earlier.

"I have a bad feeling about this" he groaned, and in an attempt to turn around his doubtfulness he said "Hehehe, what use is a god damn Australium Statue to a payload cart? It not like it will make the BLU Team win!"

He slouched down for a few seconds and got back up.

"Is it ok if I can have a bit of sleep somewhere?" he asked himself and the toddled off to a RED Barn at the halfway point.

The Scout found a pile of hay.

"Hmm, that seems a good enough bed" he said, but he was so tired he forgot about something in his pocket. That was a buzzer/vibrator for when the night shift was over and they had to clock off.

The Scout made himself snug in the hay, closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Until about 1hr 40 minutes later, he was awoken by his buzzer that started vibrating.

"Oh crap!" exclaimed the Scout "I totally forgot about that! I need to clock off now and go back to my place!"

He got up and hurried as fast as his weary legs could carry him to the RED Spawn room, having to pass Kurasame's soul, again.

"Hello?" it said again

"No no no" replied the Scout "I can't do anything to help" and he dived inside.

The weary Scout checked the clock

"2:05am?!" he yawned "Oh my god!"

He then clocked off but before he did so, he had one last look at the piece of paper that he had found 4 hour ealier.

He read it again and put it back down, but he had another job to do, lock up and turn the lights out.

"Crap" the Scout groaned as he pressed all the buttons to lock the doors, and typed in the console to switch off all the lights, except the lights in the room he was in.

The Scout then clocked off at 2:08 am and walked out the door and switched off the light.

"God dammit I am sleepy" he moaned as he got into his car "I cannot have an accident here"

The Scout tried hard to stay awake as he drove on back to his place, and he did, but he would sleep in until 9am, 3 hours before the battle.


	4. Preparation for battle

The next morning however, the BLUs were clocking on for duty at pl_hoodoo. There was 3 hours and 30 minutes to go until the battle.

"Half Eight Hut!" said the BLU Soldier as he clocked on for work.

The BLU Team clocked on with mixed feelings of determination not to lose the battle and fear and anxiety.

The BLU Engineer reflected this when he clocked on for work.

"Damn, this ain't gonna go well" he moaned "I just hope no Spies sap my Sentries!"

"Ya know I feel for ya hard-hat" replied the BLU Scout "I cannot believe the power of the REDs, I just hope I've got enough BONK!" and he went to the fridge.

"Yeah, I've got an adequate supply!" he said

As the BLU Medic clocked on for work, the BLU Soldier sat down.

"We cannot afford to lose" he said firmly.

The patriotic Illinoisan lit his cigarette and turned to his team, as the BLU Heavy clocked on for work.

"When I was being trained to be a Soldier at Burnley, IL, I was told, failure was unacceptable, and it would lead to dishonour"

The BLU Soldier reflected back to his training at the Illinois State Military Training Centre at Burnley, a small town south west of Chicago, where the Soldier was raised, even though he was born in Chicago. He remembered his 17 year old self dropping out of high school to devote himself to training for the military, he remembered walking down the street to the training facility, the sandwiches his mother gave him for lunch, and being toughened up.

"I wanted to be a man" moaned the BLU Soldier "but we seem to suffer at the REDs mercy"

The RED Soldier was also from Burnley, IL and lived a few streets away from where the BLU Soldier lived, they trained at the same facility, but they trained by desperate tutors and often ignored each other.

"God speech you motherfucker" grumbled the BLU Soldier remembering the times when the RED Soldier dominated him.

Then came back the memory of being told about failure.

"_**Failure is unacceptable, if you fail your mission, it would lead to dishonour and disgrace"**_

"Shit..." moaned the BLU Soldier, then he got up just as the BLU Sniper came out of the toilet with his jarate full and at the ready.  
"What's up mate?" he asked the Soldier

"Eh, he's just remembering his training!" replied the BLU Scout "back in Burnley, IL! I vividly remember my training in Boston!"

"Put a tin hat on it Massachusetts kid!" retorted the BLU Soldier

He did not realize that The Scout had actually been a student at Groton School, and he used to be star sports students, especially in matches against rival St Mark's school.

Scout sat down and remembered his days at Groton.

"I could not stand the other subjects" he said quietly in reflection "But I really excelled at Sports, I swear I almost smashed one of windows of St John's chapel with my baseball once!"

It was his devotion to sports that made him excel.

During his tenure at Groton, he steered the School's sport's team to victory over their Rivals, St Marks.

"I cannot believe how much I kicked St Mark's in the ass!" the Scout murmured.

It was that memory of his best moment of his tenure at Groton, him scoring a home run against St Mark's away, and won against St Mark's 75-24.

He remembered the Thanksgiving service at the chapel for his amazing victory.

He then stood up.

"Ya know, I WENT TO GROTON! I HELPED WIN SPORTS MATCHES AGAINST ST MARK'S!" he shouted a the Soldier "AND EVEN THE FRICKIN' CHAPEL BELLS WERE RUNG IN PEAL TO COMMEMORATE MY VICTORY! So, do you think I'm a fuckin' dumbass! I just thank my Mamma for sendin' me there!"

The BLU Soldier could not believe his ears!

The BLU Scout showed him some of his sports medals from Groton. "Do you think I am frickin' jokin'?!" snarled the old Grotonian "People like, Franklin D. Roosevelt were educated there! And So was I!"

"Holy Shit" exclaimed the BLU Soldier as the BLU Team admired the BLU Scout's medals. It was no joke. The Scout was an old Grotonian. Yet he had a street like attitude and a Boston accent. That was because he excelled better in sports than academic studies.

"Hmmm, Scout is really a sportsman" said the BLU Heavy

"Mah university studies at Houston and Dallas were not as prestigious as that" said the BLU Engineer

"I can not believe zhis" replied the BLU Medic

But the Scout had the will and passion of a Grotonian, the sense, the wit, the nerve, and the heart of someone educated at Groton. This is what made the Scout strong and gave him a good sense of danger.

"Grass Grows, Sun Shines, Birds fly, and brother? I am an Old Grotonian, and we will WIN THIS BATTLE!" said the BLU Scout. The rest of the BLU team cheered.

"We bet on ya lad!" replied the BLU Demoman

The BLU Pyro agreed

"We will win!" said the BLU Spy.

* * *

Meanwhile at the RED Spawn room, the RED Team noticed that the RED Scout had not clocked in for work.

"It's nearly 9'o'clock!" said the RED Demoman "Where is our Scout?"

"Last time I heard he was on a late shift" replied the RED Engineer

The RED Soldier looked outside and noticed the can of BONK and the stain of the spilt BONK the previous night.

"He spilt his BONK, so I guess he's still in bed" said the RED Soldier.

He walked out of the room and accessed the intercom to the RED Scout's room.

* * *

The RED Scout was still asleep in bed, and it was 9am exactly.

The RED Soldier's voice suddenly awoke him.

"Scout?! Wake up, it's 9am! You're late for work! We need to fight in 3 hours time! Over"

The RED Scout got up.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" he exclaimed and grabbed the intercom. "I am so frickin' sorry, I am on my way, over!"

"Roger that Scout! And what were you doing last night? Over." replied the RED Soldier

The RED Scout responded "I cannot explain now, I'll tell you when I get to ya! I'll be half an hour! Over and out!" and as he got himself ready, dressed and out the door, with a hot dog for his breakfast, he got in his car and drove off to hoodoo.

* * *

He arrived and clocked in for work at 9:33am, as he brushed his teeth and rinsed his mouth at the sink.

"Scout?" asked the RED Heavy as the Scout entered the room "Where have you been?"

"Explain what happened last night" demanded the RED Soldier.

The Scout explained the full story, the Ghost known as Kurasame, the BONK!, going to sleep in the haystack et al.

"And I'm frickin' late for work! God dammit, I hate it when I am on late shifts, but last night was just too much!"

"We all have to do late shifts at times" replied the RED Spy to the Scout "I am due to do a late shift next Monday"

The RED Scout sighed "I am on a losing streak!"

The RED Scout suddenly remembered the paper he had seen the previous night.

"I found this last night" he said as he rushed to get the paper. The RED Team went and had a look at it, the reports of Kurasame's soul and Yui.

The RED Soldier grabbed the paper

"That is a classified document son!" he said "It is not for any mercenaries to read, or poke their nose into! Understand?"

The RED Soldier quickly looked at the document and he got concerned.

"I think the BLUs are gonna use this as an advantage, who ever the hell Yui is, I hope we don't see him/her around here any time soon!"

The RED Soldier then put the document back and the Spy said he noted it the evening before he clocked off.

"Well, same goes for you Spy" replied the RED Soldier "Classified documents are Classified. No mercenary is allowed to look at them except on special circumstances. Period!"

There was a growing amount of concern among the REDs of what they seen on the document.

"Ach..." grumbled the RED Medic "Zhis may put paid to our plans of winning zhis match"

The RED Pyro chimed with his concerns about the BLU team.

"I am seriously worried about all of this" replied the RED Scout.

The RED Soldier addressed his team stressing that there was nothing to be worried about.

"Those BLU maggots would not take a chance even if they were offered 1000 bucks of Australium! No, what do they have in their history of education? Groton School? Military training in Burnley? University in Houston and Dallas? A degree in Russian literature? It is the same story for us! But we do not brag about it unlike them"

He turned to the RED Scout "And I hoped your education at Groton made you better witted for night shifts and not to read secret documents!"

He then turned back to his team and carried on his speech.

"Gentlemen! Today is the day of reckoning, the day that will make the entire Hoodoo ours! Even if the BLU maggots believe that a ghost would help them in this battle, I will take off my helmet to President Hoover's grave and crap my life savings out of my ass if we lose! Our forefathers knew the taste of defeat and humiliation, especially during the civil war! We learned about it from them, and passed on generation by generation, and the proud tradition of war lives on! When I trained in Burnley, Illinois, I was told that the art of war is the spirit, soul and essence of victory and defeat was the eternal error that anyone in war can commit! That is why the taste of defeat is bitter and the sweet taste of victory compels us in! And When those maggots fall to our mercy at High Noon, I will urinate in each and every one of their smashed helmets, and crap inside their mouths! This is war, and we must win! Gentlemen! Prepare yourselves for it's 2 hours and 45 minutes until battle!"

The RED team cheered.

* * *

Meanwhile at Yui's house, Yui explained what she had to do to her friends and Ui.

"That way, I am gonna get Kurasame Kun Back! Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" she gleamed with excitement, she could not wait.

"Ah, Yui chan!" said Tsumugi "That means you will be helping the BLUs win the Hoodoo! They are in dire straights at the moment"

"Really?" replied Yui

"Well, they are frequently getting their arses beaten by the RED team" blurted Ritsu

"I'd normally join RED" said Tsumugi "But if you have to join BLU, then ok"

"So would we all" chimed in Mio "Yui-Chan, go and win for them"

"But the battle it's not until high noon" replied Yui.

Ui came into the room.

"How are you, ready to fight for your love?" asked Ui

"No, not until High Noon" replied Yui

"I'd say you arrive there 10 minutes before the match starts" said Ui

"That's what I was thinking" said Mio "The BLUs would need time to sort you our before the round."

"I wonder what class they would put you as?" pondered Tsumugi "Somone fast like the Scout?"

"Well you always play as the Medic Mugi-Chan!" heckled Ritsu

Mio hit Ritsu on the head.

"Well you are an F2P Soldier as far as I know!" she scowled at Ritsu

"Sheesh" groaned Ritsu "Says the one who plays as the Sniper all the time"

Ui then settled the argument.

"Would you like me to come along with you as an Engineer?" she asked

"Yeah!" Chimed in Tsumugi "I'll go Medic and ubercharge the cart for you!"

"Sure thing" said Ritsu "I'll go Solly and fight the REDs off!"

"I'll be most happy to be Sniping the REDs down for you" chimed in Mio

"No" replied Yui "I'll be fine by myself and the BLU team, thanks for offering guys"

"Ok, good luck Yui Chan!" said Ritsu, Mugi and Mio.

"Go for it Onee Chan!" said Ui

"Yeah, that means more Yuri with you and I" Ritsu whispered to Mio

"Yeah" whispered Mio back "I can't wait"

"Do you think we can go with the phone camera this time" whispered Ritsu back

"Ok, if you say so Ricchan" whispered Mio with her heart racing.

"Lets go, bye you guys, good luck Yui!"

Mio and Ritsu left to go to Mio's house a epic session of yuri.

Tsumugi left shortly afterwards and Yui checked the time, It was nearly time to head off for pl_hoodoo.

"Onee Chan!" called Ui "Don't forget the statue!"

"I am carrying him with me" called Yui back as she headed downstairs with Australium Kurasame.

"Go on, you can do it Onee Chan" cheered Ui "Good luck!"

"Thanks!" replied Yui "Here goes nothing!"

and she teleported to pl_hoodoo


	5. Yui's arrival at pl hoodoo

At the RED Spawnroom, the RED Team were preparing for battle, but the RED Engineer and the RED Scout were having a bit of fun parodying "Careless Whisper"

#I'm never gonna cum again, cos guilty dicks have got no semen!#

"Ok you two put your instruments down and get ready for battle, ten hut!" said the RED Soldier to the Scout and Engineer.

"Alrighty then!" responded the RED Engineer

"Yeah gotcha!" responded the RED Scout.

It was 10 minutes until the battle commenced.

* * *

Meanwhile at the BLU Spawnroom, the BLU team were feeling anxious and determined not to fail. The Administrator was giving them a warning.

"Gentlemen! Remember what I said yesterday afternoon? There is no room for failure! You must WIN this battle at all costs or face the humiliating consequences of defeat! This is your last chance! Fight as hard as you can! Is that clear?"

"Yes" responded the BLU Team "It is clear, we will fight to the end!"

"Good" replied the Administrator "DO NOT FAIL ME! THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE! Mission begins in 10 minutes from NOW!"

And the countdown clock started.

"Bordel de merde" moaned the BLU Spy "This is going to be a hard battle, I know"

"Verdammt!" grumbled the BLU Medic as he set up his Ubercharge

"I know this ain't gonna go down well" groaned the BLU Engineer as he took another sip of his beer.

"The BLUs are gonna beat us for sure!" moaned the BLU Demoman.

The BLU Pyro agreed.

"Why are we all worried?" puzzled the BLU Sniper

The BLU Soldier, Heavy, and Scout were more optimistic

"We will WIN This battle Gentlemen!" said the BLU Soldier "The guys at Burnley said believe in victory!"

The Old Grotonian Scout agreed "At Groton, they taught me to do the best you can do, and you'll get better!

"Don't be afraid of baby RED team!" growled the BLU Heavy "We will CRUSH THEM FLAT and push cart at the same time!"

Then "player Yui Hirasawa joined the game" appeared all over the chatboxes

"Huh?" exclaimed the BLU team

The RED team groaned "This is gonna seal our doom" groaned the RED Spy

"Don't be so scared Français!" snapped the RED Soldier back "We will win at all costs!"

"We'll just laugh if we kill the lass" replied the RED Demoman

"Oh Mon Dieu, this is our doom you rosbif!" groaned the RED Spy

Yui appeared in the BLU Spawnroom with 8 minutes and 50 seconds to go on the clock with the Australium Statue of Kurasame with her.

"What in Sam Hill are you doin here Miss?" asked the BLU Engineer all surprised to see Yui.

"I am on a mission" replied Yui "To revive my sweetie!"

"What?!" exclaimed the BLU Soldier "Do you think you are doing this in the name of romance Madame Hirasawa?!"

"I have been instructed-" said Yui but the Bombinomicon entered the spawnroom and explained to the BLU Team what Yui has to do and instructed what they have to do.

"I hope ya got that!" he said after explaining "POW ZOOP! GOOD LUCK YUI!" then he disappeard.

The BLU Soldier pondered. "We need to get some weapons" he said "C'mon Scout, come with me"

He then turned to the Engineer and Pyro "Get out a Scout attire for her, we are going to make her as a super-powered Scout" he said quietly as Yui quietly noddled on Gita, her faithful Gibson Les Paul.

The BLU Soldier and the BLU Scout went into one room while the BLU Engineer and BLU Pyro went into another room.

Yui found an amplifier to plug Gita in, but she found that she was playing him all over the P.A system, even the REDs heard.

"That sounds like a Gibson Les Paul" said the RED Engineer "I have a bad feeling it is actually Yui Hirasawa"

The RED team started at him, half showed their worry and half just laughed and saying she would go down!

"Yui!" said the BLU Soldier to Yui "We have some weaponry for you!"

"Yes?" Replied Yui and turned around. She could not believe her eyes.

"We have an Australium Scattergun for your primary weapon, we've tweaked it to deal more damage and also score headshots, blah blah" said the BLU Scout and gave Yui the Australium Scattergun.

He also gave Yui a can of BONK!

"Here Yui" said the BLU Solder holding and Australium Bat "We've tweaked it to have the features of the Sandman, minus the health penalty, and the ball will recharge quicker"

"Thank you!" chirped Yui as she grabbed her new weapons

"Australium weapons are also very rare as well" said the BLU Scout "That's why we borrowed then off 2 very kind player and tweaked them so you can go and kick the REDs' asses!"

Yui gleamed at it.

"Hey Miss Hirasawa" said the BLU Engineer "We've got this uniform for ya!"

The BLU Pyro handed the Scout uniform to her and the BLU Engineer instructed her to get changed into it.

"Will Do" said Yui and headed through to door.

* * *

A minute later, she came back out, all in her Scout Uniform with the BLU t-shirt, jogging pants, plimp shoes, hat and headset and wraps around her hands and of course dogtags.

Yui looked amazing and ready for action!

"Hehehehehehe! Yeah!" she giggled

"But you're not an Old Grotonian" the BLU Scout laughed

Yui looked at herself in a mirror and smiled.

"Mission begins in 2 minutes" said the administrator

Yui put Gita safe with her and got ready to move Australium Kurasame to the cart.

"Ok...LIFT..HUT!" Said the Soldier as he and Yui lifted the Australium statue towards the cart.

The RED Team were preparing for the attack when the BLU Soldier and Yui lifted the Australium Statue onto the cart.

"Crikey!" exclaimed the RED Sniper as the statue was placed on the cart "Everyone, look at that BLU Scout there!"

The RED Team milled around the RED Sniper and look through his scope as the Announcer gave the 1 minute countdown.

"Shucks y'all! It's Yui!" exclaimed the RED Engineer

"Putain merde!" groaned the RED Spy "I hope we can kill her with ease"

"I hope so as well" replied the RED Engineer

"Get ready for assault boys!" said the RED Soldier and the team got into positions.

Yui climbed the cart and said passionately "I love you Kurasame Kun! My baby" and she hugged the Australium Statue of Kurasame "You will be back with me soon" she said and she gave him a passionate kiss. "Mmmmmmmnnnnnnnggggggg"

The Administrator looked on the Screen

"What is going on?!" she exclaimed "Someone is in love with the Cart?!"

Yui hastily jumped down and got ready to fight.

"No no no" replied the BLU Soldier and Scout "She needs her lover back!"

"Ah...okay whatever!" replied the administrator "BLU...Do not fail me! 5...4...3...2...1..."


	6. The Battle

"...Let the games begin!" said the Administrator as the fight commenced.

Yui sprung into action taking a drink of BONK and dashed off quickly into the battlefield.

"Wanananananananananana!"

The BLU team got busy pushing the cart.

"We must push little cart!" said the BLU Heavy

"Lets go lets go lets go!" ordered the BLU Soldier as the cart began to move

"We gotta stop the bloody cart!" said the RED Sniper as he zoomed into his Scope to headshoot the BLU Heavy but Yui got in the way.

Yui vigorously dodged all that the RED team threw at her, she then threw her ball and stunned the RED Medic ready to deploy and ubercharge. The BLU Soldier killed him with a Crocket.

"OH NO! MEDIC IS DEAD!" groaned the RED Heavy but then he was headshot by Yui's scattergun!

"Hehehehe!" chortled Yui as she dodged the RED Soldier's rockets...then she kicked another one back at the RED Soldier.

"DISS-MISSED!" She yelled as the reflected Rocket killed the RED Soldier.

"Soldier's a goner!" yelled the RED Engineer as he upgraded his teleporter.

"Someone stop her!" yelled the RED Demoman as Yui get jumping around dodging all of RED's attacks. The RED Sniper zoomed into his scope.

"Wave goodbye to yer head wanker!" he mumbled as he zoomed into his Scope.

But Yui leaped off the corner of the building and landed on the RED Sniper's rifle taking it away from his hands.

"YOU'LL NEVER HIT ME, I HAVE SUCH A TINY LITTLE HEAD, IT'S SO TINY I GOT SUCH A FRICKIN' TINY LITTLE HEAD!" Yui shouted at the RED Sniper.

"PISS OFF BIG HEAD!" Scoffed the RED Sniper and got his jarate out ready to throw it at Yui.

"Sorry to pop in unannounced!" said the BLU Spy and backstabbed the RED Sniper who fell on the floor dead.

"Très Bien Yui!" he said to Yui "You are doing well"

Yui felt pleased as she shot down a few more REDs that were trying to stop the cart.

"We gotta stop that girl!" yelled the RED Engineer

Yui was realoading her Scattergun when she came near the RED Engineer's buildings that were placed to stop the BLUs from capping the control point. The Sentry bleeped and got ready to fire at Yui but she backed off quickly.

"Sentry ahead!" she said swiftly

"I will sort this out!" said the BLU Spy and quickly disguised himself. He then cloaked and waited until when the RED Engineer's back was turned, that wasn't long.

Yui peered out patiently ready to pounce on the Engineer.

The BLU Spy uncloaked and applied his sappers to the RED Engineer's buildings

"Wha...SPAH'S SAPPIN MAH SENTRY!" yelled the RED Engineer and he desperately began to attempt to remove the Sappers when Yui jumped out of nowhere to pounce on him.

"WAAAH!" yelped the RED Engineer.

"Here's a schematic for ya!" said Yui "MY VAGINA!"

And She landed and swiftly placed her Scattergun on the RED Engineer's back, similar fashion to the Back Scatter as her Australium Scattergun had been tweaked to have Back Scatter functions as well...she pulled the trigger and the RED Engineer fell flat on his face dead.

Yui then gave a mighty whack with her Australium bat destroying the RED Engineer's sapped sentry.

"I broke your stupid crap moron!" she said sharply and destroyed his dispenser and teleporter.

"The Payload is Nearing a Checkpoint!" said the Administrator.

"Well played!" said the BLU Spy and he helped to push the cart onto the capture point.

"Time has been added!" said the Administrator proudly.

* * *

"YEAHAHAHAHAHA!" laughed Yui and danced in a circle before raising her hand ready for a hi-five!

"Hey, how was my epic move?!" she said

The BLU Engineer had seen and heard it all and he went and gave Yui a hi-five.

"I'll tell y'all somthin'" he said "A real Texan, would of dodged that!" and he slapped Yui's and Yui slapped his.

"YEEEEEEEEHHHHHHAAAAAAAWWWWWW!" He yelled

"WOOOHOOHOOO" Yui hollerred victoriously "Thanks!"

"Alright, yeah, that's naw..., that's a pretty good job." said the BLU Scout

"Outstanding shot!" said the BLU Soldier

"Thanks guys!" said Yui as she carried on her offensive.

* * *

Yui spotted RED Demoman sticky bombs.

"Heh, no problem" she chortled as she got her bat ready

"Heads up!" she said as she stunned the RED Demoman

The RED Demoman in a panic detonated his sticky bombs but Yui used them to propel herself towards the RED Demoman.

"Blow that up Cyclops!" she sneered as she flew towards the RED Demoman

"Yui?" he exclaimed but before he could counter attack, Yui split his head in two with her bat and finished him off with her scattergun.

The payload cart kept trundling on, it was now halfway to the final terminus.

"Keep Pushing!" said the BLU Heavy

"PUUUUUUSH!" Said the BLU Scout

"Push zhis cart, Schnell!" said the BLU Medic

"Keep pushing the cart" said the BLU Soldier

The BLU Pyro and Demoman kept the REDs attempting to defend the cart at bay, but the Heavy, Scout and Soldier killed of the REDs as well as the cart trundled on.

Yui jumped and leaper and did roly-polies in the air to dodge all of REDs' counter attacks, she even shot off some offending REDs trying to stop the payload cart moving.

She foiled the plans of the RED Engineer again, snuck up behind the RED Sniper, did the home run taunt that flung his corpse onto the Payload Cart itself, just missing Australium Kurasame.

"Somebody stop the Japanese Bitch!" yelled the RED Scout, who still had the after effects of the night before in his mind.

Yui dived down onto the RED Scout's head.

"This map ain't big enough for the two of us!" she said bluntly

"I am the Scout here" protested the RED Scout

"BONK!" yelled Yui and she knocked the RED Scout out and flung him to the BLU Engineer's sentry.

"Wassamatter, y'freakin stupid?" blurted Yui.

The RED Pyro mumbled to warn his teammates to stop Yui.

Yui sprung back into action and dodged more of the REDs' attacks and still didn't take any damage.

She put paid the the RED Engineer's plans, again, fooled the RED Demoman causing him to blow himself up with his own stickybombs.

"The bomb is nearing a checkpoint" cried the Administrator excitedly as Yui swung herself around avoiding enemy attacks.

The RED Soldier who had just killed the BLU Pyro got out his mug and said proudly "A fresh cup of Kicking your ass!"

But before he could take a sip of his Coffee, Yui flew towards him.

The RED Soldier dropped him mug of coffee spilling the coffee all over the floor and miraculously, the mug did not smash.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-" screamed Yui with her bat charged back ready to smash the RED Soldier's head open.

But the RED Soldier grabbed Yui by the collar and nearly broke her dog tags.

"Never bring a bat to a battlefield, war is NOT a game!" he snarled at Yui

"Drop dead and give me 20!" retorted Yui and placed her Scattergun on the RED Soldier's back.

"Do not do it!" ordered the RED Soldier "Do not even think about doing it, do not even think about NOT doing it!"

"Yo I'm not even wearin' a helmet" Yui answered back a got ready to pull the trigger

"Do Not Do it!"

Yui did do it and the RED Soldier lost his grip on Yui and fell to the ground as the Administrator announced that time had been added.  
"Congratulations BLU" she added "You have pleased me, keep pushing to the final terminus and win!"

* * *

"You're a disgrace to the uniform pal!" Yui sneered at the dead Soldier and picked up his coffee mug.

Yui danced around victoriously but then she began to feel something.

"Urrgh crap" she groaned "my bladder reflexes are starting to kick in, I gotta pee!"

Yui looked around and then looked at the Coffee Mug she had in her hand.

"Hehehehe" she had a bright idea. "I'll give the RED Sniper a taste of his own medicine"

She looked around for somewhere to pee, she found a spot that no one could see her. But unbeknownst to her, the RED Sniper was in hot pursuit.

Yui went to the spot she found, pulled down her panties, and squatted, placed the cup under her urethra, and took a deep breath.

"I hope no one is watching me" said Yui and closed her eyes and started peeing into the mug.

The RED sniper walked in just after Yui started peeing.

"What the heck is she...? Urgh" he grumbled and swiftly charged his scope and aimed it at Yui's clean shaved pussy. "Jarate is my weapon, not yours!" he grumbled as he charged up his scope.

Just as we was ready to shoot, Yui stopped peeing and opened her eyes.

"AW CRAP!" she exclaimed and she jumped as the Sniper fired his rifle missing Yui.

"Bugger!" grumbled the RED Sniper

Yui swifty pulled up her panties and jogging trousers and glared at the RED Sniper.

"What is your major malfunction brother?!" Yui snarled at the RED Sniper and picked up the mug full of her pee.

"The Jarate is my weapon, not yours!" snapped the RED Sniper "Don't throw it at me!"

"Peh, well here is something like 150-200ml of my pee commin' at ya!" retorted Yui as she threw the mug that then smashed and covered the RED Sniper in Yui's pee.

"AWWWWWW PISS!" he groaned and a nearby RED Spy got covered as well!

"Is this...MON DIEU!" he screamed as he was covered in Yui's pee.

"You camped the whole time for THIS?!" scoffed Yui as she mini crit killed the RED Sniper.

The RED Spy tried the backstab Yui but she intercepted the knife with her scattergun.

"Hard to stab a girl in the back when you're covered in her pee and she's beating your freakin' head in huh?" Yui sneered at the RED Spy who she then killed again with the Mini Crit boost from her pee.

The BLU Spy went to Yui "Good work!" he praised Yui

Yui lifted her hand up ready for a hi-five "How was that, eh?" she asked

The BLU Spy said "it is hard to do stab someone in the back when they've covered you in urine, that were an excellent move" and he hi fived Yui!

"YES!" hollerred Yui

"Well the moment has passed, back to work" said the BLU Spy

* * *

Yui went back into action, taunt killing the RED Engineer with Gita, headshotting some of the other REDs trying to defend the cart, put paid to a RED Medic's uber and the RED Team realized she was unstoppable.

"Ve cannot stop her!" yelled the RED Medic

"Everybody stop her!" yelled the RED Heavy

But it was futile.

And in no time at all...

"THE BOMB HAS ALMOST REACHED THE FINAL TERMINUS, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" cried the Administrator manically.

The BLU Team were just about to win the battle.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" cried the RED Soldier

"WE MUST STOP THE BOMB!" Yelled the RED Sniper

"It iz no use, ve are doomed!" Said the RED Medic bluntly "ACH SCHEI-" then he got killed by Yui again.

Yui jumped on top of the trundling Payload cart as it approached it's final destination, the alarms began to sound, the RED Team realized that all their attempts to stop the cart from reaching the final checkpoint were now all but futile.

"Medic!" called out Yui "Ubercharge the Cart when we get to the final terminus!"

"Jawohl!" replied to BLU Medic "Just let me charge up fully!"

Yui patted the Australium statue of Kurasame and closed her eyes for a few seconds.

"We are going to be back together in less than a minute now!" she gleamed and opened her eyes.

"I am fully charged!" said the BLU Medic

"Charge me, Now Doctor!" said the BLU Heavy

"Nein Heavy" replied the BLU Medic sternly "Ve must ubercharge zhe Cart so Yui can get Kurasame back!"

"Oh" groaned the BLU Heavy.

The BLU Medic began to heal the cart as it trundled into the final terminus, in which the RED's efforts to stop them were all but futile.

"Ok, here ve go!" said the BLU Medic and activated his Ubercharge.

The Cart was Ubercharged and slowly, the Australium statue of Kurasame began to break apart.

Bit by bit, Kurasame was slowly coming back to life.

"Kurasame Kun!" squealed Yui excitedly.

Then Kurasame emerged from his Australium statue, alive.

"Yui-chan?" he said

"Kurasame Kun?" Replied Yui

The Cart reached the buffers.

"Warnung!" said the BLU Medic "Get back, Schnell!"

Everyone got back as the Cart's bell rang.

Then it exploded.

"Victory!" said the Administrator to the BLU team

"You Failed!" said the Administrator to the RED Team

Yui went about effectively dominating all of the RED Team.

Then she went into the BLU spawnroom killing all of the BLUs cowering in there as the victorious BLU team followed Yui and Kurasame into the Red Spawnroom.

The BLU team had won the match.


	7. Victory party

The victorious BLU team sat down in the RED Spawnroom.

Yui took Kurasame's hand. "I did this all for you" she gleamed proudly

"Thank you!" Kurasame's eyes lit up like Neon Lights.

"I did this because I love you so much" said Yui

"I love you too" replied Kurasame.

Then both of them hugged and snogged.

"Awww..."said the BLU Demoman "Isn't that a happy sigh to see, lovers reunited!"

"Yui is credit to team!" said the BLU Heavy

"Well done Gentlemen and Yui!" said the BLU Spy

"Congratulations!" said the Administrator "You have won the pl_hoodoo lands! You have done me proud! I am most proud of you! Saxton Hale is proud of you! Miss Pauling is proud of you! And you should all be proud of yourselves!"

"Yeah!" said the BLU Scout "We couldn't of done it without Yui!"

"She is the gift from God" said the BLU Soldier "Where would we be now without her?"

The BLU Pyro agreed.

Yui turned to the BLU team.

"Thank you guys ever so much for helping me get my cuddle baby back!" she said to the BLU team. "I would never of done it without you! I am most grateful!"

"Well, we would not of got the pl_hoodoo lands without you Yui" replied the BLU Sniper

"Thanks for helping me" said Kurasame to the BLU Team. He was reunited with Yui.

"You deserve a medal Madame Hirasawa" said the BLU Soldier proudly and he gave Yui one of his medals.

The BLU Scout walked forward and awarded Yui one of his medals from Groton School.

"You really deserve it, you have done us proud!"

"Thank you ever so much!" giggled Yui and was about to say more when the BLU Scout offered her a piece of cake. Yui accepted the offer and ate the cake happily.

"Mmmmm, that has filled me up real good"

Yui stood up "Before we start a party, can I take a selfie of me in my Scout uniform?" she asked

"Sure" said the BLU Team and Yui took a Selfie of herself as a BLU Scout, and one with Kurasame.

Then Yui wanted a selfie with the whole BLU Team and Kurasame.

"Gather around me everyone" she chirped as the set the camera to ready

Everyone smiled and the picture was taken.

"Aye, ye said we'd have a party" said the BLU Demoman "But does it involve the Conga?" and he started dancing to the Conga.

Yui got Gita out, plugged him into and amplifier and started playing the Dosido tune on him "Hey Kurasame, Dosido!"

And then Yui and Kurasame did the Dosido dance!

"Are we ready? LETS DANCE!" Chirped Yui as she started playing the Dosido tune on Gita while the BLU Team and Kurasame dances to the Dosido.

They kept dancing and partying until Yui said to stop. Then she said the she and Kurasame would head back home.

The BLU team were sorry to see her go, but they told her to come back one day.

Yui and Kurasame left, and took with them the a lot of memories and the medals.

"Goodbye" said the BLU Soldier.

The BLU Scout started at the sunset "Well, that was an epic day it was"

"Well, this map is ours" said the BLU Soldier "So we'll get the men to paint the walls blue!"

The BLU Spy got up "Well, I need to go and have a shower and go to bed early" he said "I'll see you tomorrow"

"Uh it's only 6pm" said the BLU Scout

"Well I am going now" said the BLU Spy as he walked through the doors to clock off

"Well" said the BLU Soldier "I'll leave early as well, I'll have a nice hot bath and a glass of wine to celebrate, have a nice rest of your shift boys" and he left.

The rest of the BLU team including the BLU Scout stayed on until their shift ended at 10pm.

Later, The BLU Scout Clocked off as Kurasame and Yui were spending their first Romantic night together, and they all lived happily ever after.

_**The End**_

*had to end it like that*


End file.
